Episodes

Your parent or loved one has always been there for you but has now passed. Is there a way to still contact them? Knowing what to do might help you manage through some tough days a bit easier. How do you attain guidance from your loved ones? What might you be doing, unintentionally, to discourage them from reaching out to you? You may learn some surprising facts including that spiritual guides have been around and involved (in and out) of traditional religions for centuries. You might also be ...

In this episode you might be surprised to learn how often chemical restraints are used on our folks to keep them calm, sleepy, and complacent, and easier to care for in hospitals, rehab facilities, nursing homes, and even in our own homes by some lesser concerned home health aides. Sometimes it’s tough to figure out if this is happening to your parents while hospitalized. All you have to do, though, is ask about every medication they’re being given and why. You’ll also likely see these medicatio...

Can you still get support, guidance, and love from a parent, spouse, or even a family member that died before you were born? Turns out, that might be true if you know about how spiritual guides or mediums work. This is part one of a two-segment show where my guest, Sloan Tate, an accredited Medium, and I dive into how you can tap into those you love, and have loved you too, and moved on into another world. We also discuss things you should avoid when seeking out this type of spiritual guidance....

In this episode, we'll be discussing how to get rid of those crappy, crummy, pissy moods that can come with caring for an elderly parent. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated when caring for someone you love who needs your help all the time. However, sometimes the worst feelings can get the best of us. It happens to me too.! In this episode, I share seven practical tips to help you dig out of that hole and find solid ground again. Not every day will be filled with sunshine ...

In this episode, my guest, James Hagerty, the Wall Street Journal Obituary writer , and I discuss how to capture the most interesting parts of our parents and loved ones’ life stories. Too often, those final days come about, and we lose, forever, stories about what our parents did in their lifetimes. How does one start, though? What are the best questions to ask? Where do you search for things about them? What happened in their times, that they might have difficulty remembering themselves? You ...

In this episode, I share how even a whiny five-year-old can help us become better advocates and caregivers for those we love. It starts with one key question that adults often forget to ask, themselves. That simple question, asked over and over again, can be annoying to respond to. But, with patience and some extra thought, you may be able to satisfactorily answer it more often. And, in doing so, you just might get some surprising results. Tune in to this Winter Short and learn more. I promis...

What happens when the quality of care provided by your mom’s care facility was great, but then declined to a point where you’re worried that she’s suffering? Do you just suck it up and hope the quality of aides and services will get better? Or do you call medical transport, wrap her up in a blanket, and move her to a place that will make every minute with her count? In this episode, we’ll tell you how this real-life, boots-on-the-ground, mother-daughter team fought to find the right place to f...

Personal treasures or talismans have been used for a long time by caregivers, and those grieving, to reduce pain and stress. In this episode, I share a bit of history and some ways that you can use personal items to help you recover from loss and make better care decisions. My own experience with such simple items as my mom and dad’s handwritten notes, a silver bangle bracelet, and even a fleece jacket of my dad’s, gave me strength when I felt lost. You might be surprised to learn that it’s not...

This episode is Part Two of my discussion with attorney Dan Frith. The quality of care our aging parents receive can vary by which hospital they use. The one closest to home might not be the safest, or even appropriate for them, or you. Not all hospitals are the same, nor equal, nor even similar in the types of services they offer or specialize in. It’s important to assume that hospital systems are businesses too. Before you need one, learn how to research your local hospital. Understand the st...

How do you prepare your home, or a parent’s home, so it’s safe for them to return to after a hospitalization or long-term rehab stay? They might have recovered, but the last thing you want is for another issue or accident to happen. In this episode, we provide a list of suggestions to help you, the family or professional caregiver, better ensure continued safety and sustained quality of life for those you care for, even if their physical or mental abilities are starting to decline. Resource PD...

In this episode, we discuss how to learn if your doctor is the right one for your parents, or you. Sometimes we base our trust on a doctor’s “likeability,” or bedside manner. But someone who seems good doesn’t mean they are good or even competent. When it comes to your health, skills, competency ( a low "accidental" death rate), and experience usually trump attitude and charm. We also touch on some other points and questions to ask: What’s the prime age for a doctor,? When might you want to re...

In this episode, I share some research done on the most challenging days of the week for those who care for an aging parent or spouse. From this, I learned that there really is an official calendar day called Blue Monday . Also, there are specific days when it seems, the effort of caregiving is that much more stressful. It’s good to know this and be better prepared. I also dive into some ways to make the tough winter months a bit easier for you and those you’re caring for. Here's a link to my ...

What happens when you’re both a caregiver and, at the same, disabled yourself? In this episode my guest Daniel Hodges, JD, who is blind, was a caregiver for his parents and children while needing special care himself from the medical community. We discuss how he was able to succeed at this, by being a non-stop advocate for himself and those around him to overcome surprising biases and other obstacles put in his way. Our conversation includes: How to get doctors to treat you with respect How...

Caring for those we love is tough enough. When toxic people enter our lives wanting more of our time, attention, energy, and even money, offering nothing in return, they make caregiving even more difficult. In this episode, I share some tips on identifying, assessing, and more easily separating yourself from those I refer to as time vampires, bloodsuckers, and jerks. I also discuss how to turn things around and find more good souls to bring joy, kindness, and sharing into our lives and those we...

In this episode, I share tips on how caregivers can overcome those holiday blues when you’re alone and away from those you love. The show mentions how to make your days brighter when you start feeling a little dark. Below are several links to those tips and solutions discussed in this episode. They’re fun and easy to do yourself or with your parents even if they have physical challenges: Holiday Cookie Houses: Option #1 , Option #2 , Option #3/Mansion Style , and no-bake Option #4 How to creat...

This show is in memory of J ames Degenheardt who was a gift that showed up on my dad's doorstep one New Year's Day. Finding that special, thoughtful gift for an aging parent , or loved one can be tough. Even more so when you are short on time, or just can’t bear the thought of going shopping. In this episode, I share how I faced this same dilemma as my folks got older – after all, who really needs another bathrobe or pair of slippers ? One way to do this is to think outside the (gift) box : wha...

Imagine not being able to eat, swallow or enjoy your favorite foods. Or feeling so tired you could fall headfirst into your soup bowl! Or, even worse, getting your tongue cut, and rebuilt due to cancer, and having to learn how to talk again! Would thinking about these things happening freak you out? Well, there’s lots to learn from my special guest in this episode, and some good things, too. Often when someone’s parent has a stroke, heart attack, early dementia, or other health issues requiring...

In this short episode, we talk about how to protect your parent’s credit cards from getting skimmed while in their wallets. RFID chips are now embedded in almost all our credit cards. For those of us caring for aging parents who are out and about shopping on their own, or with the help of an aide, the idea that their cards can be charged without their knowledge just adds another layer of concern to our caregiving workload. There’s some controversy about whether these cards can be skimmed from a ...

The stress from caregiving can wreak havoc on one’s entire body. Yet our brains and mental abilities often end up suffering the most. While in caregiving mode, some of us end up with overload. We feel like our brains are in a total fog. We question whether we’re the ones with dementia or suffering from early-stage Alzheimer’s. Fortunately, that’s probably not the case. In this episode, Matt DiMaio , the Memory Maestro , gives us some easy ways to reduce stress, have some fun, and remember an...

How do you identify a problem doctor or facility before they become a problem for you? We all put more effort, time, and research into buying a car than into selecting medical care for our parents, and ourselves. Why do that? In this episode, I share easy ways to find out if the doctor, rehab, or care facility you select for your parents is competent, qualified, and honest about what they do. That “care home” may look like a luxury resort, but how do you research and dig out their hidden secret...

Part two: Holding everyone at the facility(ies), including you, accountable (Part #2) Here, in part two, we dive into more ways to avoid falling into the traps that Long Term Care homes, nursing homes, rehab facilities, in-home aide agencies, and hospitals use to protect themselves from your or your parents’ outrage. Are your folks one of what they consider their “ golden meal tickets ,” or corporate profit “ cash cows ?” This doesn’t mean they are going to get the best care. Learn whether you’...

Mondays are tough for everyone, especially those of us who are caregivers. That's why we're moving our show release day to Wednesdays, "hump day." Who doesn't need a little extra dose of energy, motivation, and laughter midweek? Me included. We'll see you, or hear you this next Wednesday. Oh, if you love this show, consider sharing the link as a gift to those you know who care for others too. We love sharing!

Elder Law and Care Home Mishaps . Who’s on your side to help, are they able, and will they help? You might be surprised by the answers. After listening to these next two episodes (part 1 and part 2), you will gain a new, more empowered understanding of your parent’s care facility and what they’re legally allowed to do, or not do for them. In addition, you’ll learn how to get better care for them and understand where you have the power to make a difference. First off, here is where most of us g...

When caring for your parents, how do you make the right decisions for them when they can’t? Some of us go into paralysis mode, some panic, and others decide based on what choices they feel are best for their folks. But what’s a good way to weigh the options available? Do you use facts, desires, and what seems right, or face the realities of life – yours and theirs? A lot of factors come into play. In this episode, you'll learn a “how to” exercise that will help you tackle these big decisions a...